Caleb's first words and Andrew's column

Esther and I had the great opportunity to go to CCD Women's Conference, a gathering of all sorts of women from Nazarene churches located throughout Central California. During my day and a half away, I received numerous text messages from my wonderful husband, documenting our younger son, Caleb's, progress learning the English language. These are a few of the short narratives I received:

"I asked Caleb 'do you have poo poo?' he patted his diaper and said 'pee pee'. Sure enough, only pee. He is learning."

"Caleb just patted his diaper and said poo poo. Guess what is what full of?"

Later on in the day, I received another text message regarding our older son, Andrew. Now, you've got to understand how Andrew sounds when he talks, the way he does things, and how he... is. Generally. Sometimes, he's just a regular kid. Other times, I swear he's got a 16 year old hidden away in that Ethiopian frame of his, one that lisps, skips and does combo spin-frog-jump-cartwheel maneuvers all of the carpet and sometimes even the walls. This is the texts message I got about our little Space Cadet:

"Asked Andrew if he and his friends talk about ben 10 (one of Andrew's new favoritest cartoons). He said yes. I asked if they talk about ben 10 ellien force (Jimmy spelled alien wrong on purpose, but that's another story). He said "that's part of the ben 10 column, dad."

I can just imagine his look of total disdain, entailing that we are supposed to know these kinds of things. I mean, gosh, we watch Ben 10 ALL the time. Duh. Sheesh.

Caleb rides his tricycle

Here is a video of Caleb riding his tricycle on a Friday afternoon.

Caleb riding his tricycle
Uploaded by hansonjrs. - Family events, birthdays and parenting videos.

Older Video of Caleb Attempting to Talk

This video is from when Caleb was only a few months old.

Caleb Talking
Uploaded by hansonjrs. - Discover videos of people, family and friends.

Another video post!!

This is a video of the first time that Andrew held Caleb (in the hospital, the day after he was born).

WARNING: I didn't upload this to YouTube. I uploaded it to Dailymotion, because they have a better video format and better quality. You must have a browser that supports HTML5 in order to view. This includes: Firefox 3.5 (or higher), Google Chrome 3.0.182.2 (or higher), or Opera. You can use Internet Explorer or older versions of Firefox with the VLC plugin.

Andrew Holds Caleb First Time
Uploaded by hansonjrs. - Explore more family videos.

More Videos

Here are a couple more videos of the kids.

Videos of the Kids

Here are some older videos of the kids.

Screaming from the bottom of my lungs

I'm writing this as a free-form rant from deep within the bowels of my frustration, but if you have anything useful to add, please don't hesitate. Why do I feel like I spend 3/4 of the day yelling at my kids? I never noticed what a super scream freak I was until about 2 years ago (naturally, it would start with the entry of another child into the Peanut Gallery). It seems like every other time I open my mouth, out tumbles, "Sssssh!!", "Quiet, please. QUIET!!!" or "Please stop.... !!!" These utterances are not born without remorse; the more I scream, the more I know it hurts my kids (and me) to continue doing so. The problem is, how do I stop being a screamer and how do I continue being a good mother?

Of all the drunks, rude customers and outright strange people I have dealt with in my previous years of food service, I've never been more frustrated or challenged than during the time I spend with the kids. Now, don't get me wrong; I love those little guys to pieces and then some. Ain't nothin' I wouldn't do for them. Also, I think it's safe to note that a lot of my friends, past and present, have always sworn that I'd be the crazy lady sitting at the park swinging her massive handbag (or lifebag, as one friend called it LOL) at the pigeons and passersby for fun. Oddly enough, God planned for this crazy lady to stay home with her rambunctious pair of pigeon-headed short people and they're both unintentionally pecking for the breadcrumbs of her sanity.

I do take comfort in a few aspects, though: I'm not the only mother in the world who has yelled at her kids a few (okay way) too many times. The fault is not theirs to own, as they are both wonderful, spirited children with sweet dispositions to boot. I just want to be nicer to my kids so that they know when they are doing something wrong, but they don't feel bad when they do. HELP!